Today I figured I would make myself a really nice, healthy lunch.

I prepared a sausage roll, a couple of cherry tomatoes, a babybel cheese, two hard boiled eggs and planned to have some melon and some cheese cake for dessert.

I figured that this seemed a well balanced and healthy meal. It probably is. But apparently my stomach can't handle it.

I just had to stop after half the sausage roll, the two eggs and tomatoes. My stomach was giving me the 'dear god, no more!'. Apparently, that was too much for it to handle.

In other news, I've had my brace tightened again and a blob of resin fixed to one of my teeth to stop the bar sliding up. The teeth were understandable very sore after not only that but the filing with what amounts to strips of fine sandpaper. That is an extremely unpleasant experience. Still, teeth seem to be moving and they're less tender today so it's good.

I'll always be yours, my love.

more fail, owned and pwned pics and videos

So I've not been too well for a little while now. Eating 8/10 makes me feel sick or gives me heart burn after. Went to the Doctor who gave a few options of what it could be. Could just be excess acid due to stress, could be some bacteria I can't remember the name of now, or it could, although unlikely be my gall bladder. Doesn't seem the be latter fortunately. I had a blood test for this bacteria thing (need to call up for my results soon) and it was a bit of a disaster. Nurse stuck the needle in, no blood came out. Takes needle out thinking she missed and tries again. Still nothing. So she leaves the needle in my arm while she gets another bottle thinking that's the problem. Fortunately 3rd time lucky with a new bottle and it worked. I now have a huge yellow-green bruise and a sore arm. This is a fortnight on. Nice.

In the mean time, I got a UTI, which was not fun at all. I went in to do some tests and the nurse got back to me same day and prescribed some antibiotics, which seem to have cleared it up nicely, thank goodness. Plenty of cranberry juice and water helped too.

Brothers birthday today and I've bought him a polo shirt and given him some money.
Also mothers day! Matt got mum this teddy bear holding a heart cushion that says 'best mum' and I got her some Hotel Chocolat fruity chocs, to which she said 'Thanks but I don't like Hotel Chocolat'. ... .... Right.

Finding work rough at the moment with Jayne signed off still. With no Anna I have no one to ask questions I need answering and everyone else asks me for answers. Plus all the extra work that's come on suddenly, it makes it harder for everyone with Jayne not here. I think my trays might actually break with the weight of paperwork. I think I'm seriously going to have to do some of that on monday. I have other stuff to do, but I just gotta juggle it the best I can I guess.

I'm feeling very insecure at the moment. I think I just need a little reassurance that everything is ok. I feel so worried over every little thing and I'm scared of losing the one I love the most. I don't want that to happen. I feel sad when you're not there, especially when I feel so insecure.

Whee, valentines!

This year I had a beautiful card with roses on it and some lovely wording. I on the other hand struggled to find a card to had to write mostly my own wording in the one I found.
I also got the key to her heart <3 Oddly, I'd also looked for a key, but couldn't actually find one I liked. This one is super cute though so I've put it away safe.
Of course, the piece de resistance was the ring. Wow. This is an expensive ring too! But it's so beautiful! Yellow gold, diamonds, alexandrite. Alexandrite is beautiful because it's a lovely green in daylight and a beautiful purple in incandescent light. So it's kinda like two rings in one :) It's super elegant and lovely and I'm wearing it right now.

For my part, I got a sort of art deco silver necklace, a cute little beanie baby bear holding a rose which was entirely too cute to pass up and gave some money for chocolates, 'cause it's not like I can go to bonbons myself and get some as we don't have one here in Nottingham. I also sent the rose petal soaps I got for Christmas which didn't arrive on time. They were really pretty so I thought they'd make a nice decoration if nothing else!

All in all it was a really nice valentines day I thought!

I also got the lovely commission that Gryphie did for me and it looks awesome, it's just what I wanted and the colours are so much better IRL than on a scan. Let's face it, scanners eat colours! Even more surprising was the fantastic extra pic she drew for me! Wow, all that speckling too. It looks absoluely awesome and I love it to bits. Holly in particular looks super cool and just like I imagined her and Lapis looks nuts, which is her sort of look being a Malk! XD

~~~~~~~

In other news, work is hard at the moment. I seem to have a lot on my shoulders. Of course having the tail end of this cold doesn't help as I feel pretty naff still, despite copious amounts of lemsip, borroca (sp?) and olbas oil etc. At least it's a lot better than it was. It's going to be a rough couple of weeks though I think, so I'm not looking forward to it.

Weird title.

I feel a little lost lately though. I just feel like somehow I'm not putting enough effort into being supportive and loving. That or I'm putting in too much and am being annoying. Or maybe that's just paranoia. I do have a habit of taking things personally and worrying about it. I don't know how to tell sometimes.

Ever since Gryphie said about that neglected Reliant Scimitar, I keep thinking about it. Weird how an image like that gets into your head. There's just something about it that does appeal, I can definately see what she meant now about being drawn to it. I didn't even see it, just had a description!

Feels like I've been back at work forever, but hey, it pays so that's what's important.

I think I need to go to the osteopath again. Been getting some back ache, twinges of sciatica and some weird muscle pains in my feet which needs some attention I think.

Do I expect too much from people?

Is Earplugs one word or two? I don't know, but around here - you need them.

The shouting is making me want to repeatedly bash my face into a wall. Rinse and repeat until unconciousness occurs. My brother hasn't got out of bed yet ant it's just gone 16:30. I can't blame him what with all the yelling. I hate the shouting all the fucking time. Drives me nuts.

It's not like the shouting is even about anything worth shouting over. Anything you try and do to be helpful you get yelled at for. You don't do anything you still get yelled at the same, so I might as well do fuck all.

If I could afford it, I would be out of this house and not come back.

All I really want right now is something to eat, a cup of tea and time with Paulina. That would make me happy.

*Goes to get the edibles*

Inventive title I know, lol.

Yesterday was Leeds day. It was fantastic, despite it being pretty chilly. We had a great time wandering around and buying things, plus we exchanged gifts of course ^^ Mine came in the biggest gift bag I've ever seen XD; Getting the bus home was fine for a change, even though the coach was half an hour delayed getting back. Actually, it was because of that that it was easier for me to get a bus! I only had to wait 15 minutes to get a bus back and it was just me and the driver all the way home, lol.

Today my shoulders ache like hell but it was all worth it to be able to spend some time with Gryphie. <3

Plus I got the most awesome gifts from her ever. Lingerie *blush and giggle* plus a yummy looking gingerbread heart *tummy rumbles*, a cute shiny gecko *cuddles*, a sweet bear (hey he was unwrapped XD) *snugs bear*, sonic screwdriver and pen set *runs around sonicing everything*, rose syrup *chugs XD*, plus I got to open one of my gifts.

Which is the best gift ever. A sweet little journal full of sentiment and some of the most beautiful words and illustrations. I cried tears of joy over every page. Boy does that sound corny when I right it, but it's comletely true. (Plus it smells good!)

I'm pretty much enjoying zOMG although it's not my usual thing. I was hoping to get Gryphie into it too but it's not really her thing I guess. I'll just have to play alone D:
I was also hoping she'd get into Morrowind, but despite buying it, I stupidly told her to poke drivers and a whole disaster ensued and she lost interest before she'd even got it loaded. Oops. Sorry D:

Anyway, I'm hungry now - off to find out when dinner is!